Don’t You Wish
Good evening my fellow Americans, I come to you tonight to apologize for the huge disappointment I’ve been these first 54 weeks of an administration that was supposed to be all about hope and change. Maybe it was something about being inside the Beltway, but with the power vested in the presidency, there is really no one else to blame.
First, I take full responsibility for the failure to provide proper health care in our country. Like the rest of the developed world, we should have health care for everyone at an affordable price. This means extracting the insurance companies from the process. I should have done this in February. Now I want Medicare-at-Cost for every American.
Second, as regards all this spy stuff in the name of national security, we have to cut back. Our borders are porous. The only way America can truly feel safe is if we stop provoking people to attack us. Therefore, from now on we will use the American military only to defend our borders and to contribute to the resolution of international crises, such as what happened in Haiti.
The over-the-top wiretapping programs will end. We’ll close Guantanamo, sending all of the prisoners back to Afghanistan. We’ll speed our withdrawal from Iraq, and pull our troops from Europe, Okinawa, and Korea. Let the rest of the world fend for themselves. Let the United Nations do what it was formed to do.
Third, we will immediately launch a crash program on solar power. At the level of what President Kennedy did to put America on the moon first. In 18 months we will have solar cells beating electric rates from sea to shining sea.
And finally this. Unless my approval rating is at least 70% in 2012, I won’t be running for re-election.
My apologies again for screwing up the first year. Now it’s time to do the work and get America back on track.
©2010 SetonnoteS
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